Love and Numbers
by litlcapt
Summary: Late at night River stays up thinking about her family.


AN: Slight references to previous story The Crosses We Bear

Love and Numbers

The Black never seemed so welcoming as she sat at the helm pondering her life on Serenity. Thinking about the people who had become her surrogate family since she came on board. The family she always wanted but never received growing up. She thought about "Daddy" Mal, sister Kaylee, "mother" Inara, brother Simon, protector Zoe, rival Jayne, but mostly about mentor and other big brother Wash.

Wash had always been the big brother who welcomed her with open arms, without the awkwardness of her biological brother. He was always the one to make her laugh when she down. To brighten her day when it was dark. To find her when she was lost. Scary Haired Book was the only one other than the eccentric pilot to see her for who she was, not just a disturbed and damaged girl. But Wash was the one who really understood her, maybe not her crazy antics, but what she saw in everyone. No one else realized that he saw the truth better than the others. That underneath the jokes and sarcasm were hidden painful secrets never confessed to anyone, not even Zoe. Darkness covered up by all the light.

Out of all the crew she enjoyed Wash's presence the most. She enjoyed the way he secretly taught her how to fly in the middle of the night. Loved the way he took care of her when the others were on a job, making her lunch and playing dinosaurs with her. Liked the way he solved the complex mathematical engineering questions used for the flight configurations before her, his hidden talent with numbers surprising the crew. She was a genius but Wash was a mathematician, an expert with numbers and equations. Something that came natural to him since childhood and something that made him a better pilot. He was to numbers and flight plans like Kaylee was to engines.

She appreciated the way he showed her the stars, explaining what every pattern meant. He soared with the stars in mind and spirit, all knowing and vibrant. He truly was a leaf on the wind floating among the heavens. Light as a feather as he kept them flying true. A spirit stronger than most never to be broken by the hate of others, never to be forgotten by those in life. That light that touched everyone in his presence, that lit up the hardest of hearts.

She loved that spark in his eye when he managed to dodge another obstacle, taking Serenity out into The Black gracefully and without hesitation. Liked the subtle, humble duck of the head as he gazed at the looks on Mal and Jayne's face when he surprised the crew again, hitting the mark nearly twenty feet away with a gun he never used. The victory that shone in his eyes as another game of hoopball was won, another danger dodged. The determination in his voice when one of their own was in trouble, one of the family…his family. The innocence he managed to retain after the multiple encounters with Reaver's, after the time at Niska's hands….after his life in the camp. He always persevered in the toughest of times when all hope seemed to be lost. In many ways he was the rock of the ship, keeping everyone standing strong…even Jayne. He was Zoë's reason to be happy. _Her_ reason to enjoy _her_ life the way it was meant to be. He made what had happened to her easier.

_Love_ kept her in the air is what Mal had said. It was Wash's love for the ship, for the crew that kept them flying high. Wash's love lived on in the crew, lived on in Serenity. His love carried to the others softening the hard lives on the ship. It was a hard life to live, painful, but he made it a little easier. He achieved in preserving that innocence that was nearly lost in Kaylee, kept Mal grounded, helping Zoe not forget about love, teaching Jayne there are others things than killing, making Simon laugh, treating Inara as a person…helping _her_ forget. In all his achievements he managed to remain the funny, carefree pilot he had always been. It was that love, that commitment, that passion, that humor that kept them going strong. _We're still flying_ because of it.

"River," a voice roused her from her thoughts.

"Everything's fine," she answered already knowing the question that was to come.

"What are you doin' up?" a tapping sound filled her ears as they walked closer.

"In my thoughts…looking at the configurations of time and space…filling the time," River responded.

"The crazy thing is…that actually made sense," she turned to look at her visitor still shrouded with the darkness that blanketed the bridge.

"I figured it would, you're a problem solver," she mused.

The visitor walked up to the control panel, picking up the piece of paper littered with numbers and equations she had been working on. Reading it over his brows knit in confusion, the equations were wrong. Everything about the numbers were wrong, it was a failed flight plan.

"It's illogical, doesn't make sense. The numbers don't match…they're illogical," River told the visitor.

"They're not illogical just in the wrong order. I was pretty sure you would figure this out before me," they said placing the paper in front of her.

"I know…just wanted for you to do it. You're the number man. Equations make sense," River picked the paper back up to study it before handing it back to the visitor.

"You want me to show you?" they asked. "I think I figured it out. It ain't that hard just needs a little _love_".

"Yes," River replied softly.

"Lets start with the equation then work our way down," they took a seat next to her and reached across the console for the pencil that lay next to the dinosaurs.

"Thank you _Hoban_," River looked him in the eye.

"Not a problem. Best be gettin' to this now," Wash said his head ducking bashfully at the mention of his name.

Pencil in hand he set out to work the problem not to help River but to satisfy her whim. He never understood why she was so impressed with his minute skills compared to the knowledge she possessed. There was something calming about sitting with River, though. He became more of a teacher than a mediator. More of an older brother than another member of the crew. He felt the same with Kaylee as he helped her with the engine or just sat with her at the table.

"There," Wash said triumphantly ten minutes later slapping the pencil on the console.

"The numbers match, its logical. Fits the space continuum. Acceleration at a constant rate at a=F/m satisfying Newton's First Law of Classical Mechanics. Terminal velocity is irrelevant. The vectors match up with the corresponding speed," River explained.

The equation done Wash's brows knit in confusion with River's lengthy description. He nodded his head slowly before saying, "Well now that you made me feel completely stupid". He smiled when he earned one from River, a short laugh escaping her lips. It was something all too rare on the ship, almost as much as a true smile on his wife's face. He turned _his_ chair back to the console to check the instruments. He looked up where River set the paper next to where Sera the Triceratops stood in all its glory, staring back at him with its beady eyes.

"So you wanna help me with the flight plan, set in the coordinates?" Wash asked her as he tapped a few keys.  
>"Was planning on it," River stated.<p>

She watched Wash's hands dance over the instruments expertly, so smooth and confident. Although the steps were different they all danced in their own way. Just as gracefully and just as flawlessly. She turned her own chair to the copilot's side of the console and began clicking in the numbers determined by the equation. All the while she continued to watch him without any awkwardness. Hoban Washburn was many things. Mentor, friend, brother, rock: that was what he was to her, River  
>Tam.<p>

_Disclaimer: Firefly is property of Joss Whedon, I don't own anything._


End file.
